he wants to bone in the snuggie
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
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