dude, im still at the bar with two chics... one has a moustache ill save that one for you... be home in 20min..
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Major win last night. I traded my roommate two cigs for a six pack and a bag of beef jerky. This has been a Brian weekend update
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
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