Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
You know you're wathing too much reality TV when you start adding commentary to every day life.
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Hold on there are flying pancakes I can't handle this right now
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Randomize
