We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
I think I can smell my own vagina right now
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
he told me that I'm basically going to be the mom of the house when they move in...i like to see it as being a MILF without the responsibility of real children
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
