she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I'm sorry but when I'm riding in the trunk on the way to mcdonalds at 6 am I just don't want to listen to reba macintire
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
Woke up to a note written on my hand that read "just because he kisses you, doesn't mean you have to sleep with him"
next time, write it on your vagina so its more effective.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
There's even glitter on my cock...
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