Trimmed my pubes and broke your paper shredder. Separate events.
so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
I just googled if crying burns calories
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
Just smoked out of an apple with Steve Jobs. I love Halloween.
Someone just knocked jenga into a plate of cake. I'm licking off each piece one by one.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
