I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
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i just got yelled at for having sex. this sorority thing is worst than being at home. at least at home they think im still a virgin
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
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I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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