Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
it hurts more in the daytime
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
Just found a uh poem I wrote on ambien. It says to "cry your seamen filled tears" and "I hope you take a dagger to your vagina" and at the end it says "sincerely, God". What.the.fuck do they put in that pill?
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
Omg this is like trying to sleep on a pile of ballsacks.
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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