you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I think I'll bring the beer we scavenged from that other party. What goes around comes around, especially when it's Corona because that shit is not staying in my fridge
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
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