Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I don't remember. Are we still dating?
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
