my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
You are right. The scrape marks on her ass are from her breaking the doggy door by crawling through it.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Just had an hour long talk with a woman, turns out she's the mom of the guy i lost my virginity to. Even better his dog was also present.. Meeting the family at its best?
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Remember earlier when I was excited about finding that birth control pill in my purse? Definitely acid.
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Randomize
