who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Randomize
