Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sex in a hospital.. check
Update: that felon in Georgia I slept with is now a police officer. What a wonderful world
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
your fucking longboard fell on me while we were having sex you fucking hipster
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