i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
Randomize
