She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
North Korea, Best Korea!
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
Can I please come dance in my bra to destiny's child with you? I'll bring the wine and the glitter
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Randomize
