Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
umm, I just masturbated to old Justin timberlake on MTV jams. in need of dick ASAP
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
I think the moment she woke up butt naked on a mattress with her phone still on her face was the point she knew last night was fucked up
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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