Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
So like if I threw up in my purse is that "don't ever show your face in public again" worthy or just slightly frowned upon
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Going to the pool bar doesn’t exactly count as “exploring”
Randomize
