so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Did you get any pics? And I can only imagine how inferior you must have felt knowing that somewhere in that room was a guy whose penis was the length of your forearm.
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
