So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
I need to stop drinking alone, I wrote a love letter to my tattoos
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
