The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Bring the kids" is the most terrifying 3 words I've ever heard in my life.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
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