We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
there is a dorito bag in my car full of my mouth blood
I've never heard "I will drown your mother in vanilla pudding" as an insult before, and then last night happened.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
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