Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
A very confused plastic surgeon just called. Apparently I called asking how much it costs to get a vodka funnel installed straight to my brain...
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Randomize
