it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
I should not be allowed to reproduce. The world doesn't need my sarcastic asshole demon spawn in child form
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
Randomize
