Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
It's a Lindsey's Going to Jail Theme party.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I think winning the long island race means you lose at life
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Randomize
