what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
I just wanna go home eat some pizza rolls, get warm and jerk off, and it's only 845. This shit was supposed to make me see unicorns. Not cry
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I'm on this new diet called "I have 10$ till next Friday, I have rice
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
I was about to break it off with him because I realised he only wanted me for sex, until I realised that I only wanted HIM for sex. Win/win
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
