I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
areolas are like halos for boobs.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
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