Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
You're 34. You can't make guys wait till the third date anymore. Step it up!
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
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