Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
