so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
Just turned my microbiology homework into a drinking game. The words are getting blurry but I think we're really bonding.
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fingerblasting some girl on the deck tryna get her to fuck on a lifeboat
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize