Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
Randomize
