I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
He sat on a barstool and did the robot for 3 hours - I'm pretty sure he enjoyed himself.
she told me i tasted like america
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I feel like I might be the only person I know who eats bundles of radishes in-between orgasms from their vibrator.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Couch. On fire.
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize