they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
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