I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
we are going to smoke at least three blunts before we go see Cloudy with a chance of meatballs. I'm going to have my mom make us spaghetti for when we get out so can your mom make those spicy meatballs? I thought I'd give you 9 days notice so everything's perfect.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Stop banging my friends. This is getting weird.
Stop being friends with hot 18 year old girls.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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