she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
I woke up and found 10 txts from him. All sent at 6:30 am, and all about the muffin man.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Some guy offered you 100 bucks last night to suck your toes. I had to drag you away while you were yelling at me, "Stop money cock blocking me!"
That's just where I'm at in my life.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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