Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
Just got blown on the bus in front of abot 20 ppl. Lots of high fives.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
According to facebook, I opened up a can of whupass on some douche who poured all the vodka on the ground.
You called the wrong number but I salute you.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Randomize
