And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
I have the liquor shits and this time, it's personal.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
