You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
Going to a professional golf course at 2am to throw the flag poles like javelins
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
pesky things like morals, self-preservation and cowardice are not needed. overkill is nothing but a word. there will be blood.
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize
