R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Pretty good. They took the stitches out but it still hurts like a bitch. The doctor says I should be off crutches by next week.
Well, that's good. Let's hope drunk you doesn't sabotage you.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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