Reason #82 that I need to get laid: my pubes are getting split ends.
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I tapped out to boredom. She bought me a full meal at Subway. Two tap beers and a pretty weak long island iced tea. I'm five dollars cheaper to fuck than she is.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
It's been a wonderful constant drunkeness. We played Marco polo with some random like 8 yr olds in the kiddie pool.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I think I'm just gonna exercise my lungs and fingers. With bong hits and crochet. BECAUSE I AM A REAPONSIBLE ADULT DAMMIT!!
I got off F O U R times, just because he wanted to hear me moan. He is my hero.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
