I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
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