Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Define "chronic" masturbator.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
Cant wait to drunkenly tell by kids that i banged their aunt katie in a weird threesome
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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