I'm drive I can fine osifer
i just thanked the atm machine for giving me cash
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
Packing for college has become a game of where did I hide my sex toys.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Randomize
