We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
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