Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
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you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
One good thing out of all this is her ass is huge. Like Australia Big.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
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Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
I believe in your delicious
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
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