i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I'M WORRY THAT MY VAGINA WILL NEVER KNOW THE TOUCH OF A MAN AND YOU ARE MAKING A MIXTAPE
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
