farters have to be the big spoon...
Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Seriously, she had fingers that made me thank a god I don't even believe in that I'm gay.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Randomize
