Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
Good news! I don't have Hep C! Better news! I still hate you!
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
