WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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