4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
He bought you footie pajamas. Shit's pretty serious.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
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