R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Randomize
