Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
Dude just texted me asking if I could drive 45 mins for a quickie dude use your hand
Pounded a bottle of Moscato in my underwear while watching Pretty Little Liars...am I really gonna be 30 next year?
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
