the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
I'm pretty sure he sprained my clit...
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