That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
All I wanted was to die alone with my dogs....how did I end up here
I don't know if I should laugh or punch you
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize