He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
if he ever tells me he loves me when we are sober, i am a goner. just fyi.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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