there's paper in my vomit.
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
Ye. Looking like it's about to be one of those mythical responsible weekends
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm using the house around the corner that my parents rent out to people as a means of getting sex. I just tell them I'm going for a walk and just invite my next hook up over
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
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