Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
God I need to hump something, right now.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
