If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
Can we go to the gas station to get cigarettes before we get drunk. It's hard enough to say Marlboro sober.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
