I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We officially wrote our house rules 1. We do not waste alcohol 2. Pinky promises mean something 3. Don't leave your facebook open, and if you do, don't complain 4. Never refuse cuddle or catch phrase
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
He gave me the choice between a threeway with his best friend or a tiny turtle. Unfortunately I chose the threeway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
Ran into my statistics professor at the bar, he chugged a car bomb and yelled "x bar mothfucker!". On average I'm loving this PhD program.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
so i just met a former male stripper who has a lion king tattoo. new BFF? i think yes
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