oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
Just realized how many men I've had sex with for the first time in St. Patty's Day past. Currently sending "HAPPY SEXIVERSARY" texts...
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Vegas is great, yelled at a guy 4 lanes over if he wanted a bj. ended up having sex in a vacant lot. I think he was homeless.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just got a blow job from a woman on a ski slope. She said ski'ing frightens her and giving head calms her down. Glad I could help ma'am!
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
Randomize
