i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
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you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
The whole time we were fucking I kept thinking, "My dad would love this cologne. I'll have to ask him where he got it." the highlight of the night is that I figured out my dad's birthday gift.
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Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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