I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
My dad just asked Siri to "help me find my daughters dignity."
If you were my daughter, I'd do the same thing.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
We need a rematch, I think my pussy was on vacation the other night.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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